" I dont come to your job and tell you that you're going to hell!"

Thank you, trudy weigel, for summing up my job.

Last night i cam this close to walking out. As you can tell form other blog entries, I've become increasingly fristrated with my job. For many reasons, some personal, some professional. basically, I want out. I've told God this. ive told God that I need a job where i would make the same i am now. The next job offer that comes along, Im taking.

Anyway, so dont like it, but still try to be profssional. Had a really good talk with my mom last night. She says that you need to have three things;

You need ot liek what you're doing.

You need to like who you work for.

You need to like who you work with.

Buts she also said she was praying ofr me about the job situation, that God would open a door or a window ( at this point dont care of its a sewar drain) for me.

So my breaks over, i go back into teh room. Theres a report i need to take. I knew it was mine, so I asked if it was an emergency. The erson who had initially picked up teh call stated no. And i said good, cuz on friday I had five different reports that were all emergencies. I said it lightly, kinda joking, but kinda serious.

So, this dumb heifer of a co-worker (who i wasnt even talking to0 speaks up and says " You need to fix your attitude. youre attitude stinks. This is your joba nd you gotta suck it up." At which point I try to interject so she starts to walk out of the room, her mouth still going. " You're attitude really sucks. you need to change it."

So at this point I can tell Im gonna start crying, and i dont want to, and im feeling so overwhelmed, i stand up and say (to hger back cuz she's wlkaing away) " Hang on. I dont need ot be dealing with this kind of shit." She just kept going ' and you shouldn't swaer at me."

At which point the supervisor in teh room, whoi is calmly fliiping htrough a magazine, states "Girls, be nice."

I was fuming, adn more hurt than anything. I wanted to call her the worst names in thebook. Shes pulled that kind of stunt before.."reprimanding me" in front of the whoe room of screeners. it hurts. The other tiem she did it i was under a lot of stress then too. She doesnt understand of of teh personal reasons. She just sees that im not "stepping up to the plate" .

Shes not htere allt he times I do step up to teh plate, which is all the ime. She just jumps on all the little negative things.

The only hting i guess I can do is talk to teh assistant director when she relieves me after this shift. Im not trying ot be s nitch. its just not professional. it falls under the " Im not getting paid enough..."

She makes me feel so unaccomplished. Like Im not good enough to be here. im the youngest person here at the hotline. They must of hired me because i was accoplished io something. Instead I feel like I have nothign to offer, and Im just taking up space.