I'm Back!

I think this is the longest I've been away yet. There's been so much that's happened.

Well, today was my first day back from Thanksgiving "vacation." I put that in quotes because Thanksgiving falls on one of my days off. Still, I was able to take Friday off, so for me it was like having an extended weekend. It was a lot of fun. Spent it with Ben and his family, basically getting to know his family and whatnot. Crazy people, but lots of fun, and not so intimidating as I initially thought. Lots of good food. :)

I've seen several movies lately on the big screen. I think it’s because Ben was away for a bit and when he came back we realized there's a lot of movies out there we want to see. So we've see The Prestige, The Departed, and Casino Royale (twice!).

I must say, I'm a bit ashamed to admit, I do have a bit of a crush on Daniel Craig. I think I'm ashamed because I'm usually so level headed, I NEVER have crushes on Hollywood/big name people. So part of me is kicking myself cuz its like " He's a movie star, why bother?" I do have to say, Ben has been very understanding about all of this. Basically, he's not feeling threatened...as he shouldn't :) Give it a week, I'll be over it. Besides, and pardon me for being cheesy, but I don't think there's anyone else out there that could complete me the way Ben does. Besides, the only movie he looks really good in is Casino Royale. Ben looks good all the time.

However, the main theme for Casino Roylae is pretty good. Here’s a link for the music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuftPAl6Ypg&mode=related&search. Unfortunaly, the soundtrack to the movie hasnt been released yet. Come to think of it, the main theme for the Deaprted was quite good too. In seeing the Departed, I discovered a new bad. Well, not new, but new to me. The Dropkick Murphy's song "I'm Shipping up to Boston." is a recurring song in The Deoparted. Kinda like rock music, which some irish music in it. So basically, I love it. If you look at my facebook groups, I belong to " Michael Flately is Lord of the Dance...I dig Irish music and dance.

Which reminds me, for those of you looking for Christmas gift ideas..itunes gift cards are a great thing. theres so much music and videos I wouldnt mind having :) And Amazon is great too. I have three wish lists on Amazon, i;m sure I could find something I like there. ;-)

In other news, one of my apartment mates (Angela) is moving out. She'll be gone by December 1st. I'm not terribly torn up over it. She comes in at 1am and laughs and giggles and talks on her cell until 3am, keeping my apartment-mate Elise up all night. I think Elise has been nervous about her being able to pay utilities and rent. So the hope is that we'll find someone who’s a bit more mature, perhaps? I dunno, we'll see. Meanwhile Mimi, the other new apartment-mate, wants Angela's room cuz it's homier. Elise and I don’t want more stress than necessary, so we told Mimi “Angela will be gone in a couple of weeks. Why don’t we leave things the way they are. When Angela moves out, if the room is available, then you can move in."

A lot has happened with my sister and my adoptive mother. I'm not sure what to do with any of it. I know there have been times where I feel as though my heart so breaking for my sister, and her situation, and I ask myself “How did it come to this?" I feel anger towards Cynthia. I haven’t spoken to her in a month, and I’m not sure when I will speak to her. But there are time's I wonder if should call and speak to her. But I know I'm not ready. I don’t think she’s ever going to change. I

’m not really going to get into it. It’s all the same stuff: Cynthia, PPP, the church. Whatever. I don’t need to concern myself with them right now. I'm trying to focus on bettering my life, not bogging it down.

I still haven’t heard form my friend. It’s strange, even though we say we're friends, we're really not. Even though she’s known about the situation with my sister for longer than I have, she has yet to call and see how I'm doing, or, if anything, to offer prayer.

As it is, with the holidays, I'm trying to remain upbeat and positive. I know I haven’t shared this with a lot of my friends, but I've always struggled with depression over the holidays. Growing up in foster care, I was always the poor kid in my classes. I didn’t get great Christmas gifts (if I got any at all). I basically used to be a recipient of the toy drives and wish lists you hear about on the radio. So now when the holidays come, I always remember it. It’s as if there’s a little switch inside me. When the holidays come around, the switch is flipped on, and I’m flooded with memories of past holidays. Especially this year, with my sister in a homeless shelter.

But into better things....

Like buying Christmas gifts for everyone. I actually have two people done. Ben (who actually already has his present :) ) and my apartment mate Elise. Which leaves friends and my sister. I have a few ideas for some people, but no ideas for others.

No word from Simmons yet. I'm tempted to start looking elsewhere. I know I’ve been saying it for a while, but I need to leave the hotline. I still feel like I could definitely get the job. It’s just a matter of things on their end, perhaps? Ben was saying how when he applied for Suffolk University, human resources balled things up for him. So for now I’ll probably just play the waiting game. The frustrating thing is that Christmas break is coming, so I'm worried that they might just decide to wait until after Christmas break to make the decision. However, wouldn’t it make more sense for them to hire before Christmas break, so the new people can get broken in while it’s kind of quiet? Who knows...?

I do know I tend to be impatient for these things, and I don’t like being in limbo just waiting. If something is going to happen, I like it to happen quickly.

Anywho, time to go back to work, and my book. I'm currently ready the illustrated version of Angels and Demons. Initially, 'I didn’t want to read it, but then I found the illustrated version, which makes things more interesting, considering it s a book that describes a lot of visual things (like art, insignia's, buildings, etc).