My heart goes out to you

You don't even know me, You don't even know
Oh, my heart goes out
Lord, help me do what I can do to reach out now,
Oh my heart goes out to you.

Granted, this song sounds like your typical every day cheezy Christian song...which it kinda is. Still, I like the lyrics. I know it sounds kinda stuck up, or arrogant, but the lyrics remind me of myself. I know that at times I can probably be the most selfish person. At the same time, I feel like God has goven me such a big heart to help others, that I don't kknow what to do with it.

The lyrics were really haunting me the last time I was at work. The thing is, at my job, it'd not like I physically work with people. The people I'm dealing have no clue who I am. I'm actually ok with that, on many duiifferent levels. It savces me from becoming emotionally attatched, and at teh same time, I dont have to deal face to face with teh really really annoying people that we get sometimes ( alot of the times).

Anyway, thats not actually why I started this particular posting. Being at this job makes me miss being at Gordon with all of my friends in a central location.

There are quite a few people my age that like to go out and party after work. Even thought Im really not quite teh partying type, it would still feel nice to be included. I know, Im rolling my eyes at myself. It sounds so.....middle schoolish of me.

I miss being able to get out of work on campus, or out of a meeting, andbeing able to crash in a freinds room, or relax with ben in front of the TV. Now all of my frinds are dispersed...Beth is in the Cape soomehwree, Katie lives at the end of the T, Ben is practically in NY, and my bestest friend IS in New York. By the time i get out of work, teh T isnt running. I mean, i suppose, if i really wanted to, I could cathch a train adn ride 3 hours out to see ebn, or 6 hours out to see Krista, but then i would havr to turn right around.

Truth be told, Its hard for me to go out and party after work. I dont even mean party party, I mean just go out and do something. I've found that I need at least an hour to prepare for work, adn an hour to decompose. I would murch rather chill in front of teh TV, or laugh with friends, than go clubbing, which is what my co workers do.

Ive never understood clubbing. Every one says they go to dance. But the minute you walk in teh door, your the filling of a man sandwhich. Guys you have never seen in your life,a dn whom you will probably never see again, bump and grind against you (whether you want to or not), hornier than my rabbit (who is so horny he's grunting love songs to Andrew, my other male rabbit, in an attempt to woo him. )

(Poor Max, Andrew's been fixed.)